So much for throwing care to the wind and seeing what happens. So now I have to take Prometrium tablets (some have to do sepositories - so I'm lucky) every night starting on day 16 of my cycle through day 32 - at which point I have to take a HPT. If it's negative, I stop taking the Prometrium and have my period. If it's positive, I faint, then call the Dr.'s office.
The last time I took Prometrium - I actually was pregnant, so it feels a little weird. Pre-natals in the mornings, fish oil and Prometrium at night. And I sleep. Hard. Like the alarm is a distant annoying noise I can't seem to wrap my head around - hard.
But, on the upside, all of this has enabled me to find some new annoyances in my life:
Mothers Day.
Crying for no good reason. In public.
Skinny, pregnant, bubbly blondes - for who life seems so nonchalant and easy.
Friends who are in the small number of people who know what we've been through yet never ask
how we are or mention what we've been through - and otherwise seem to avoide us like the plague
since the MC. Why is that?
Church friends that flock to any babies in the room and make a huge deal out of them and their
mothers right in front of your face and knowing what you've endured and seemingly not caring.
A husband who's blissfully unaware of what a hard time I'm having with this.
Do you ever feel alone in a crowded room? Like you're the only person that feels the way you do? Like you can't talk to even your closest friends about the things you're thinking or how you feel? Like you're standing on the outside looking in? Like you're standing outside the fire with no notion of how to get in or be in...
No comments:
Post a Comment